Slowly

I’ve been back home for over 2 weeks now and I find myself staying home a lot. I do get out of the house quite a bit but when I’m home, I stay indoors. Before I left South Africa I kept thinking I’d enjoy relaxing and reading by the community pool or take walks to the nearby park to write, read, be online but I haven’t ventured to either yet. It’s strange. I’ve been a way from home for so long, so now I must be subconsciously catching up. I realize how much I do enjoy being home, being in one place, my space. It’s just what I need right now!

As much as I love traveling and spending time with friends, I do enjoy being around my parents and brother and spending as much time with them as I can. Of course, almost all the friends I used to hang out with have taken off on their own adventures so am left to create new friendships. I don’t mind.  It may be a good thing for me to just be with me. Adjust. Acclimate. Transition.

Some days I get things off my “to do list” done and others just feel like nothing gets done or a “do nothing” day. I try to just go with it. I realize in the US how much we thrive (or do we?) on trying to accomplish too much everyday and if we can’t check the 13 things off our list, we somehow have failed for the day. This is quite silly thinking. There’s always tomorrow to get something done. I’m remembering what I learned on my journey and try to take it one day at a time. Enjoy the moments. Enjoy relaxing. Enjoy doing nothing. It takes getting used to as our society doesn’t really advocate or practice the “do nothing philosophy.”

I don’t have a job and currently am not looking. I told myself I’d have a month off before beginning the search. I know the day will come when I’ll go from enjoying my do nothing days to wanting a bit more structure, more of a plan because I know living at home is only temporary!  I don’t know how long I’ll stay but hopefully no longer than 6 months. Luckily, I do get on with my parents but I am ready for my own place.

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