A benefit of being on the road for a long time is living simply with minimal items, including clothing. Yet after such a long wearing the same few items with a few variations, I was excited to return to a dresser and closet filled with clothing. There was no need to buy clothing because I had more clothing than I knew what to do with. I gravitated towards a handful of shirts and seemed to wear them often, just as I had other shirts while on the road. Habit and comfort. However, I’ve been feeling a want for something new. I’ve swapped clothing with friends and mixed and matched items in my closet for new creations but I’m left wanting something more yet I feel a swash of guilt.
I saw men and women in Africa take great pride in their clothing. Always clean and hand scrubbed. Some shirts were so well worn to the point of making them holey and they continued to wear their shirts with mini holes because I can only assume, they didn’t have much else nor money to buy a used shirt at the market.
How can I want more when I have a slew of clothing in my drawer (even if it’s from a few years ago)? I feel guilty yet I know I live in a different country, virtually a different world. How do I seperate myself without fully ignoring what I’ve witnessed and experienced. What I always come around too is not buying new clothing does not mean the poverty stricken man in half way across the world is now clothed. It’s more the issue, I feel I should be content with all I had yet sometimes I want something new and I wish I didn’t. Should’t I feel content? Not want things?
It helps talking with friends who can relate as they’ve experienced similar feelings themselves. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.
It’s nice to have new items every now and again. I need to let go and enjoy. I’ve just become more conscientious. I find it difficult to wrap my mind around a $32 t-shirt because I do the math and think how many t-shirts that can be at another store… but then again, it’s not always about quantity.
Oh boy. The dilemmas travels can bring.