Even if I don’t know what the reason is, in this given moment. I returned to my cozy seaside flat a week ago and looked forward to it after my long vacations at home and my short getaway in Lisboa. I went to work and then went straightaway to Mercadona, the local Spanish grocery chain to stock my fridge with a few things to eat. I was excited to go home , have the flat to myself (I’ve gotten familiar with my flatmates schedule), prepare a meal and relax. I walk in and I see my flatmate on the sofa watching TV and my first thought is, “What is he doing here?” The irony of so many weeks of wanting my flatmate to be home to finally becoming accustomed to having the flat to myself. He makes small talk by asking how my vacations were? How is my family? and then he throws me a BIG curveball…
All the while speaking in Spanish. He says “you know how I’ve been wanting to live on a boat?” Ah, of course, how could I forget for the last 6 weeks (before I went home for Christmas) he’s been taunting me about his desire to live on a boat?! At first I found it humorous but then I soon realized, he wasn’t joking. He says, “Well, I have a friend who is helping me search for a boat but if she doesn’t find anything… I’ve decided I prefer to live alone.” Ah, ok… certainly unexpected. He goes onto say, “it’s nothing against you, I like living with you, your nice, we get along… “ I realized while you were away and I had the flat to myself how much I enjoyed living alone. Ok. Fair. I certainly enjoy having the flat to myself BUT what I can’t wrap my head around is, he’s never home. Now he has a big test to study for and plans to spend his afternoons and evenings after work at the library, anyway. So what will change? He leaves for work, comes home for a brief moment and then returns after 11pm or midnight. And to top it off, he says he may start taking private English classes from me. Say what? OK. But my questioning is irrelevant.
I know in the end, it’s pointless to seek an answer. He’s made up his mind and he’s sticking to it. Surprising because he’s best described as an Eyeore. Life is always gray and his energy always low. Some days being around him, I start feeling down. So consider me very surprised to hear my room mate so confident and certain in his decision. And yet, honestly, I’m happy for him, despite how it impacts me. Finally, this guy has some idea of what he wants in his life. I always want the best for people and for people to be content. I can’t force him to stay living there and nor would I want him to, if it’s not really what he wants.
But where does this all leave me. Now I’m on the search for a new flat mate in a town that has more flats to rent than owners know how to rent them. But I press on, telling everyone I know I’m looking, posting fliers and posting an ad on a rent a piso/room site. It’s the best I can do. And he has talked to the landlord about breaking contract, which he is ok with.
I’ve also come to terms with: maybe I’m suppose to live alone. I’m perfectly content in my flat and have no desire to leave, which leaves me with 2 choices: find a new flat mate or live alone. A part of me likes the idea of living alone except for paying the entire rent, plus expenses. He really is the perfect flatmate: courteous, quiet and never there (something I had to get used to at first). But as the title says, Everything happens for a reason. I don’t know the reason yet but maybe a new person is suppose to come into my life; live with me or just maybe I’m suppose to experience living solo. I don’t know the answer yet. I’m ok with either. And at the end of the day, I can’t complain. The rent and expenses for my 2 bedroom by the sea is by far less than what I’d pay for a room in San Francisco. Yes, a room in San Francisco.
It’s all about perspective.
Poco a poco as the Spanish say. Slowly slowly, I’ll see what comes my way.
I’m letting go and trying to enjoy the ride.
Have you had an interesting or unexpected flatmate experience?
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