Do you know what tomorrow brings?

Where does the path lead? Sometimes it's best to be surprised

It’s been on my mind for a while. Today, I’m sharing with all you lovelies what I’ve been thinking. Are you ready? Drum roll… I have no idea what comes next. I don’t know what my future holds. I know, That’s a big statement. And does anyone ever know? Really? Sure, I have ideas but that’s it.  I’m just enjoying the current, and seeing what happens.  I’m not putting much into motion right now.  And I’m quite ok with this. It surprises me. Shocks me. Four years ago, not knowing what came next, terrified me. It kept me wandering in Africa, when deep down, (I realized later,) I wanted to be home in the comforts of everything I know. Thought it was more than just not knowing what came next, but the immense fear and overwhelming idea of the “real world” and all that comes with it. You know. The “real world” isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be- bills, rent, responsibilities.

This is what I know: I know places I will travel in April and the first week of May, I know my work ends on May 31 and I have a plane ticket home on July 30. Between May 31 and July 30, I’m free, I’m open to what comes my way or inspires me in the coming months completely free. I like this, I like allowing the wind to carry me, inspire me, excite me but sometimes it’s a little daunting. A two-edged sword. I have ideas of things I’d like to do but nothing  is in motion, nothing is planned. I’m still thinking about going to NOWHERE festival but for whatever reason haven’t actually made the commitment to myself  (or even to Jessica, whom I inspired and she jumped on it the minute she could). It’s because of this festival and the running of the bulls in Pamplona that made me want to stay till the end of July. I feel I should have plans, I should know what I’m going to do but I don’t like the word should. It implies an obligation that may not really exist or be necessary.

Sometimes you find what you wouldn't expect...

I’ll let you in on a secret-I’ve had a big distraction with my TIE (Tarjeta de Extranjera, basically what allows me to work and stay legally in Spain)  and how to stay in Spain legally this summer because someone was silly (insert profanity here) and made most auxiliars in Andalucia TIE’s  expire the same day as our last day of work. Pure genius. Explain how were supposed to pack, get our last paycheck, close our bank account, get our security back etc., yeah, exactly!  Yet, auxiliars TIE’s in other regions expire in September, such as Madrid. Explain this one, please, pretty please. But high Spanish folks who should be able to, can’t.  Yes, I know, it’s because every region of Spain is managed differently and therefore the Junta’s make different decisions but really?!  I’ve invested more time researching and going to offices who should be offer a concrete answer who instead, spin me in circles. Yes, I’m trying to navigate the incredible bureaucratic system, that is Spain.   So what I thought was a simple as, I’ve been here with a TIE and now I want to turn in my tokens for a tourist visa (which I would have been granted if I had just hopped on the plane to Spain just to visit) and I’m told, it’s not possible. What? There’s got to be away. I still think there must be a way but as it stands, I haven’t got an answer, the only way is to reapply to the program. Ah, ok.

The email from my coordinator to renew sat in my inbox unread for a month. I had no intention of applying until I was basically forced to do it. That is, if I want to stay in Spain legally and have the freedom to travel within Europe. Yeah, being illegal may not be the best idea, right? Right. Ok. I’ll apply but it won’t even be a back up plan for me because if I renewed I’d want to be placed in a new region, to have a different perspective in Spain but guess what? It will (most likely) interfere with me applying  to grant me legal status for the 2 months. So I applied. And then unexpectedly, my boyfriend tells me he’s thinking about applying to the program! Say what? Hip hooray! So we discuss regions we’d possible like to live and I alter my application. Fingers crossed it’s not going to cause a problem to get my Authorización de Regreso (to leave /enter Spain, stay legal).

I do love San Francisco!

 I have no idea what my future holds. I couldn’t tell ya if I’m coming back to Spain next year or getting cozy and settled in California again. I guess renewing the only thing I’ve put in motion but that was by default. I do know another year in Spain would do wonders for my Spanish…

And today, not knowing what comes next is just fine. Just fine indeed. I’m enjoying this ride.  

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13 thoughts on “Do you know what tomorrow brings?

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  5. Great post! I like your honesty. Sounds like you are open to possibility and becoming comfortable with uncertainty… Let’s face it, even if we make plans, they inevitably change. I’m sure whatever opportunity comes your way, you’ll make the most of it. Good Luck 🙂

  6. Great post. It sounds like you have gotten to a stage where you are open to possibilities, and becoming comfortable with uncertainty. Because let’s face it, even when we make plans, they inevitably change due to things outside our control! When we allow space in our lives, we are inviting possibility, and I am sure that whatever comes your way, you will make the most of. Good Luck 🙂

    • Thanks Sarah- yes it’s nice to finally be in a place of being open to possibilities and being comfortable at the same time. Certainly a first. I’m trusting good things will be coming my way.

  7. You’re completely right, life is full of surprises and doors can unexpectedly open (or close) when you least expect it. It’s terrific to be in a state where you’re comfortable with not knowing what lies ahead (we never really do know what lies ahead anyway, do we?). Here’s to diving in and just rolling with the punches! 🙂

    I hope you and Jess made it back safely. I had such an AWESOME weekend with you guys, you’re too hilarious. (And my feet still feel like massive blocks of brick). Next time you feel like coming back, you know where to find me! Un abrazo a las dos!

    • Michelle- it’s nice to not be worried with the unknown, a first for me!

      Thanks again for having us. It was awesome to meet you. A very memorable time, indeed and I can’t wait to go back to Granada to have more adventures around town with you! Epic weekend!

  8. That’s pretty bizarre, that everything expires your last day of work. Best of luck and keep in mind that things always work out, no matter how disheartened you might feel at the time.

    • Aura- It is strange but I’m learning not to be too surprised anymore in Spain. I agree- everything will work out. Always does!

  9. I’ll quote this….because as we both know….I’m in the same boat!! “Have the courage to follow your heart & intution. They somehow already knows what you truly want to become.” -S.Jobs

    • Angelica- So true indeed. This quote makes me think of manifesting but yes, our intuition always knows best. You and I will figure out our next steps as they come!

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