Musings on a commuter train

morning commute tuned into music

heads stuck in newspapers, everyone glued to their iphone 

checking latest Facebook status updates

faint conversations behind me

Mad rush to get in the crowded train, standing room only

I wonder why?

Job opportunities crowd my inbox from loving friends thinking of me

Nothing seems like quite the right fit or what I’m looking for

Do I apply anyway, just because I should keep my options open… right?

A friend says, “ya know, it’s never a good time to come back to reality”

But what is reality? Depends on our surroundings, what we create, what we make it

It seems the answer is on the wall. 

But I know the hardest part is knowing the challenges I faced before

Sometimes its best not knowing what you’re getting yourself into.

My Africa adventure flashes before me and I wonder how on Earth I traveled for 9 months, mostly on my own. I’m crazy. Yes I know.

Sometimes in life, it’s best not to know what you’re getting yourself into because once you’re in, you have to figure out how to navigate out while trying to enjoy the ride. 

After a long day of work, I walk to a shuttle for a 15 minute ride to my commuter train to join tired and weary commuters

Repeat 5 days a week till you can flop on the sofa on Saturday

Sunday night comes too soon and you dread Monday mornings

Back on the commuter train and you wonder is it all worth it?

Next thing you know, a year of your life has gone by, five years, nine years and you wonder when you’re going to have the courage to live your dream.

New commitments, obligations, more excuses, more reasons not to.

You look back and wonder, what if? Why didn’t I?

And it may be too late


4 thoughts on “Musings on a commuter train

  1. Very thought provoking! Living your dreams isn’t the safe, secure path, but it will ensure you don’t look back in ten years and say, “I wish…” And as for your friend’s comment about reality, well I too believe that we make our own reality and that it needn’t be like everyone else’s. Something my friend Kim wrote the other day which resonated with me is (and I’m paraphrasing), ‘living your best life isn’t selfish, it’s a gift you give the world. Imagine if everyone did it!”

  2. Just like you said, it’s best not to know what you’re headed for. At worst, it will teach you things you would have never learned in your present surroundings. And at best you will live an enriched life knowing that you’re living your life on your terms, the way you want to. Often, we don’t see the beauty in either while we’re going through it – it’s only afterwards when we sit down and think back do we realise that we just had the best experiences, or learned the most important lessons 🙂

    • hi Azra,
      I’s hard because I know some of the challenges that lie ahead of me in Spain but it’s a new region, which means things a lot of newness and things I haven’t considered!
      So true- it’s hard to comprehend why we have to go through difficult situations until after we do. I’m sure I look back on this moment and have ah ha moments of why I had to endure this stage.

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