Being in the mist of grand transitions keeps life exciting, interesting and full of wonder; what’s going to happen next? It’s a time full of uncertainty yet full of endless possibilities. A time to ponder what you truly want, write out your dreams and believe in them (sometimes the harder part if they seem extravagant or impossible) or just contemplate what’s next. Just be. Oh, how that can be the hardest part- just being in the present as life unfolds. Job or no job. Direction or uncertainty and just being. What is that? How do you do that? If only I could know how my life would look in three months time…
But then that wouldn’t be very exciting, now would it?
I’ll tell you, it can feel daunting too. It’s a time filled with “what-if’s” and “what will I be doing in a few weeks or a month or three?” It doesn’t feel like the best time for making plans and yet it can be the most perfect time. Create something. Anything. Go forth. Even if it’s a travel plan with your brother somewhere in three months time. I’ve been here before. I’m getting a bit more comfortable with this place because experience has taught me life always works out and often when you least expect it, the unexpected falls into place. Last time I was here, I was in a weird head space, unsure if I should stay or go but had a teaching assistant job lined up, I just wasn’t so sure I was ready to begin again. Until I just did it. And realized, of course, I have what it takes to start over.
And just lived it.
Sometimes that’s the only way we know what we’re capable of. Just doing it!
This time I’m back in my own neck of the woods- a place of comfort, connections and memories. Memories of all the past times I’ve gone to local cafés to sip on lattés or the library while I spruced up my resume or cover letter. I’ve been in this strange land of which direction is my life headed? And I know this certainly won’t be the last. Where will I be? What job will I have? Who will I meet?
Time will tell. It always does.
I might as well get used to it. Change is the only constant we can expect from life.
Sometimes feelings of sadness and uncertainty creep in and hide behind my smile and my upbeat words yet I always strive to see the positive in every challenge or difficult story.
Sometimes it’s as simple as remembering all I have and why I’m grateful:
Today is about remembering what I’m thankful for. I can always use the reminder.
- I have a roof over my head and plenty of warm clothes for the changing weather
- Plenty of delicious food to eat to nourish my body and a kitchen to cook in
- A car to drive to interviews, the grocery store, to meet with friends (because, alas I’m not in a walkable city anymore…)
- A supportive family and great friends who sometimes astound me as they seem to know exactly what to say and how to be there for me
- The ability to continuously create the life I imagine and to be able to keep dreaming. Being in transition means opportunities abound, even in the dark moments.
- There are amazing trails, coastline and open space to frolic on, endless amounts of trees to hug and see the changing colors, flowers to smell and animals to remind us that we are all connected in this world
- Plenty of books to read- if I just make time within my new routine of job searching
- Technology- which can be good and bad but in my case, allows me to talk to friends around the world via FREE text and phone calls, thanks to some apps. I love that my world can be small despite great distances!
- Being a BART ride away from the glorious city of SF- the food, events, the music, the parks; having skip and jump access to a world class city! I can travel in my own backyard. It’s nice.
- Living in the Bay area for all it offers and yet being close to so many amazing parks, beaches and places people dream of to visit from around the world.
- Free time to visit friends and go on road trips
In fact, I’ll be packing up a bag and hopping in the car to visit some friends and see their new home out in the countryside tomorrow. I’m looking forward to seeing them, getting out of the hectic-ness of the Bay and being in nature and exploring new areas of California. It’s incredible just how many places there are to see in this vast state!
There’s no time to feel down or unsure. There are plenty of places waiting for me to visit them while everything aligns… because often it just takes time for everything to fall into place.